This post is over a year in the making, but before we get to the actual rank-ing, as it will be called in this post, a little back story is required. First, I've always been really intrigued by bad movies. My dad pointed me toward Mystery Science Theater 3000 at a young age (but not too young) and I took to it like a pig to the slop those movies are. It bothers me that terrible movies are still coming out, but now there are few people to dissect them for the garbage they are. But despite the high level of awfulness of these movies, they're also amazingly entertaining.
As another comment before we get into the rank-ing, I see movies on a spectrum. Naturally there are really good movies that are well worth watching. I would call these "good or really good movies". After this is a category of movies that are still a big deal and get lots of press but are just terrible (think Transformers 2-4 and The Movie that Will Not Be Named). I can usually point these clunkers out from the first trailer. I call these "bad or really bad movies". I try to see as few of these as possible. Rotten Tomatoes does a good job sifting through bad action/drama movies, but I don't follow their comedy guides very much. More on that some other time.
Finally there is a third category: "bad movies that are so absurd they become good". The chief example here is Sharknado. Most people have heard of that now, and many have even seen it. It's a really good example of a movie that so absurd (a tornado made of sharks) that it becomes amazing. Sharknado will most definitely make this list, but you need to read on to see where it rank-ed.
This list is the top 10 best bad movies as determined by the criteria of being absurd AND enjoyable. It's nescessary to note that the worst movies we watched (Allan Quartermain and the Temple of Skulls) didn't make this list because they were so BAD!!! This is NOT a ranking of the worst movies (for if it were The Movie that Will Not Be Named would surely be here). This is a ranking of the best movies that are so bad they became amazing. All of these movies come with my personal recommendation that, if you liked Sharknado for it's absurd beauty, you will most likely like these movies as well.
In Portland, Oregon 25+ movies of the "bad movie" genre were watched by Daniel Gillespie and Andrew Jenkins. Here's what they found to be the "best"
10. Blast Vegas: This movie isn't great, but it does benefit from bad (yet recognizable) acting by Frankie Muniz (who really did some remarkable work back in the day). In this movie a group of college age friends in Vegas unleash this crazy storm and have to stop it with a pharaoh's sword or something. This movie ranks this highly for it's valiant effort to force together the "teen party", "storm" and "ancient curse" sub genres of bad movies.
9. Airplane vs. Volcano: Explanation is not really needed for this one. There's an airplane under attack by a volcano. But the ending and truly awful dialogue makes this stand out. This movie also has a very high potential for funny riff jokes as there are many slightly suggestive jokes to be made throughout. It's better for the jokes it generates in the watcher than for it's actual merit.
8. Big Ass Spider: This movie stars the same guy as in Airplane vs Volcano, but he's a lot better in this. However, the best part is, BY FAR, his mexican side-kick who is a stereotype and knows it. He says many beautiful, wonderful things. Also, as surprising as this may be, spiders and insects aren't that common in this genre, but this movie has a big one and lot of absurd chaos to go along with it.
7. Buffalo Rider: We generally kept our movies pretty current, but after watching the wonder Guy on a Buffalo youtube videos, we had to check out the whole thing. Watch those videos (if you haven't) and then watch this movie because it is just a great. The song alone sets it above many other movies featuring the wonderful line, "his love for the buffalo gave him his name". Seriously. Just watch it.
6. FDR: American Badass: You really don't need more than the title to watch this one. It's about FDR and he's a badass. This movie has higher profile acting and MUCH higher production value. It's probably even better than this place in the rankings, except it knows and tries to be absurd. Most of these others have a different feel to them. If you need more selling points: Machine gun wheel chair, werewolf Nazis. 'Nuff said.
5. Sharknado: I have to thank Sharknado for re-energizing this genre and passion for bad movies, but it's not the best one out there. It's really bad in the right ways (it's sequel was just BAD), with stupid insane characters and situations. Most of the mockery centers on the teenage characters. If you haven't seen this, of course it's a must see and a rightful number 5, but there are better bad movies out there.
4. Black Sheep: Like this gem. This movie features mutated sheep that are going on a murderous rampage, but when the sheep bite you YOU TURN INTO A SHEEP! This premise is exactly as amazing as you imagine it to be. This movie is British (so you get the bonus of accents!) and the acting is pretty good. It's really violent but in the right absurd kind of way.
3. Ghost Shark: This movie is like Sharknado on steroids. It's about a ghost shark that can APPEAR IN ANY BODY OF WATER!!! We're talking bathtubs, wet windshields, buckets, swimming pools, anything. The carnage in this movie is AMAZING with a pretty decent story to along with it (something about a curse). The one draw back with this movie is trying to find it online, but I'm sure you can get ahold of it with a little effort. And trust me, it's worth the work. It features some of my favorite death scenes in all movies ever.
2. Abraham Lincoln vs Zombies: I've never seen Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter and very likely never will. Because I love this ripoff SOOOOO much. Basically Abe slaughters a lot of vampires, but the twist a the end can rival the great twist endings of M. Night Shyamalan. All fans of bad movies and cheesy horror movies need to search this one out.
1. Santa Slay: This movie genuine became a top 5 Christmas movie and I plan to watch it annually. Everything about this movie is unbelievably awesome from demon Santa attacks to swearing old ladies. You almost don't need to mock this movie. It's that awesome. I am serious in saying this movie should have the biggest cult following ever and should be a yearly part of Christmas celebrations. Because we all con only watch Elf and It's a Wonderful Life so many times. Sometimes we need to Demon Santa destroy some stuff.
I hope this list will provide many wonderful memories for you and your friends. I promise you the top 5 movies on this list will provide some of the most absurdly entertaining hours of your movie lives. Watch them. Comment below with other personal bad favorites and what you like best.
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